Letter from the Righteous

A Still from Ran (A film by Akira Kurosawa, 1985)

I am lost in my own righteousness.
I had demolished the love of those who embraced me in their high towers. Ashamed, embarrassed, and broken
of thine actions committed toward thy caretakers.
Yes, they feel the discomfort of the pain I had thrust into their side,
for I had acted out of pride and lack of foresight.
for when I felt that I had a right to stand for myself,
I did so ignorantly by raising the sword against the paladins of thy youth,
Reaping the harvest of agony, hate, confusion, blood, and tears from thy brethren. Only then after, the house which I had no right to act against as such,
is left divided and all dwell in sorrow.

Who am I, O’ noble self,
to act in such accordance of authority against thy protectors?
Did I stand before the foundations of the earth?
Was I the one who nurtured the trees, and guided the birds?
Was I there with the ancestors in carving out the very stones of thy house?
Then I kindly ask myself
Who was I to decide the justice of thy province?
I had call them tyrants.
I cried out,
“How unjust god is. Look at the World!
How can a good god
a holy deity
allow such tyrants
such injustice
such misery”.

O’ thy righteous self,
when did I ever know what good is?
Did I truly believe
that out of all the generations who lived before me,
out of all the evil I had committed,
dared to stand among the dead convinced that I knew what pure Justice is?
That I
above all the gods
obtained true holiness?

Yet, I had taken up arrows and spears
against they whom I had once proclaimed my eternal love and loyalty.
Merciless blood flows in three streams.
The cries are smothered by cold, ruthless steel.
Their bewildered eyes look for mercy upon high.
Such a moment I reveled in their agony.
For I had obtained godhood.
I picked up the crown of everlasting life.
I established my eternal dominion.
Unquestionable sovereignty.

Yet my sins had found me out.
Alone I sit the mire of my wretchedness
Even the stars are ashamed of me.
As they shed their bright tears upon the Towers of thy youth;
mortifying thy soul for I shall see the wickedness of thy ways, heart and mind.

What profit hath my soul gained from such arrogance?
How did I make the world a better place?
I preached that all should love
Yet, I had put to the sword
all those who did not have my righteous sight.

No entity from beyond
No lord from heaven nor hell
will accept my offerings
Neither will they acknowledge my sovereignty
The only Kingdom I am worthy to rule
Is the Realm of the Void
For in my heart and soul
Is naught but vanity
alone in the oblivion.


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